i dont get why people are so anal some times. this lady came into my work, all south east asianed out looking for some sit-down-on-the-floor-work-desk that she tried to explain to me, when it could have simply been described as a coffee table. so she's looking at this one coffee table and knocks one of the glass candle chandeliers and i come over and look at it- the whole time she is saying it wasn't my fault. fucking A, i saw you do it! of course i didn't say that to her. but then she says i'm not going to pay for it, and then i just say well let me ask the owner what she wants me to do because its like i want to make you pay for it or anything. and while im talking to my mom asking her what i should do she tries interrupting me and says you know, i could sue you for this and i tell my mother what she says. my mother says its fine, but if she would like to help pay for the costs it would be nice of her. and so i repeat what my mother says like a puppet. like i've been ask to from previous situations, i've kept my temper the whole time. she doesnt even let me finish, and says that's ridiculous! why would- this is where i interrupt and say im trying to be nice, you dont have to be anal. and yes, YOU were the one to ruin it! if i were to break something i would offer to pay for it. i swear, none of the men who come here and break things threatens to sue, its always the stupid bitches that do it.

americans take their freedom for granted. you can sue people left and right in this country. i guess its part of freedom, but sometimes freedom is just as ridiculous as that stupid anal bitch. i also despise those santa monica residents with the money to do that. in such petty cases such as this, i think it portrays their lack of confidence in dealing with individual based issues. if you can't deal with breaking a store item and you need your lawyer to do it for you, you either:

A. have too much money to appreciate
B. a really big sense of freedom

if you were in thailand and you found a fly in your soup everyone would fucking laugh at you if you were going to reveal your desires to bring such a petty case to court. just order another soup. or in my case, pay the owner what you owe.

before you hang a right and disappear from sight.

dear andrew,

yeah it really has been away. ohhh my god. my handwritten letter is enormous. 50 pages or so now. i have the second part, but im looking for the first part. i came home right away to clean my room so when i do that im sure ill find it, and ill give it to you tomorrow on the way to 4th. i will meet you in the field or something.

its not like i expect her to talk to me about those kind of things with me, but to me, kesha hasnt said a word about you. although, i know she does believe that you guys are meant to be. i remember we were coming back from amoeba or something like that, when we were talking about love (ha, it must seem like thats all i talk about). she said something about how she believes in a one and only soulmate. i think you are one of her secrets. how she feels, thinks, reacts, all that intense stuff. does she know that you are having an amazing time with gabi? does she know that you arent going back to her? if i were you i wouldnt leave gabi either.

ive been listening to buck 65 too! its on my ipod. i dont know what songs ive been listening too, but they're pretty cool. never heard of aesop rock. how do you pronounce that? A-sup rock?

i think my crush for amoeba is dying. i havent seen him in two weeks. should i go this friday? do you think he knows? should i give him my number? i was talking to megan (i dont knwo why i still talk to her about these kind of things- i think she's really manipulative about getting it out of me) but she thinsk i should give him my number. since she suggested it i should probably automatically turn this idea down, but i think i was thinking about it before her, but i jsut didnt know how to do it. this stuff i hate andrew. its just so difficult. i can't wear my heart on my sleeve. ive figured myself out, and the roots of fears lie in vulernability. im pretty sure you've been there. you know how they have to walk across the counter to give you your cds. megan thinks i should write my number on my receipt and tell him to keep it that i dont want it. what do you think? i know i know, i should find some common ground with him. i was thinking maybe i could ask him some general conversation starter question. kesha thinks i should first find out if he has a girlfriend. she thinks he has a girlfriend . i wouldnt doubt it either. im sure he's a great catch. unless he has genital warts or soemthing. gross. she suggested asking something like, "im buying this for my friends girlfriends, do girlfriends like this type of thing?" damn i hate this.

i should just like someone at school. like sean barrett or something. he's a nice guy. no, i want him to stay my friend and only friend, forever.

in the last page or so of the letter i wrote to you, i wrote that i cant fall in love. im starting to believe this more and more now that i think about it. i just can't. im not cut out for the game.

tiem to clean my room and look for the first part of that letter!

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